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I am not going to get into details about this, but let one thing become a guiding principle for you: NEVER trust a narcissist to tell the truth or to be honest!!! It doesn’t matter whether it is in personal life, in politics, or even in religion, NEVER trust a narcissist. Lucifer is the ultimate narcissist in the universe, and if you are going to trust a mortal narcissist then you might as well trust the god of narcissism, too, since both are just as trustworthy.

To understand a narcissist will require understanding what they base their reasoned decisions on, how they see right and wrong, and the extents that they will go to in order to get their way. Failing to understand those things will result in failing to understand why a narcissist cannot be trusted.

Reasoned decisions must have a basis. I might see a boat that is for sale; should I buy it? Reasoning out that decision must have a basis. Perhaps my basis is to seek my own best interests, and my own best interests includes seeking ways to have fun as well as trying to show up the neighbors. Thus my best interests became the basis for selecting the choice option which consisted of buying the boat.

Perhaps another consideration that I gave for buying the boat was that it could bring joy to others by taking them out on the lake. That, though, was a secondary consideration, not the primary consideration. The primary consideration, or first consideration, comes from the core standard.

A narcissist’s core standard seeks to answer the question: “what will lead to getting my way?” Or, put another way, “how can my will be met?” It’s all about what will work toward getting their way. That is the My Way Core Standard.

Want to see how deep the core standard is rooted into us? It’s this deep: how we innately see right and wrong is based on the core standard. Every major decision has a right and a wrong attached to it, and our core standard determines how we are innately defining right and wrong. So in the case of the My Way Core Standard, right and wrong is defined by whether or not that person is getting their way. If they are getting their way then that is right, but if something is opposing them in getting their way then that is wrong. If a narcissist wants you to buy them dinner and you do it then what you did was right, but if you refuse then you are wrong. So far nothing seems too bad, but wait…

What if truth opposes the narcissist in getting their way? For example, what if the narcissist is running for an election and their opponent is looking to win? Anything that opposes the narcissist in getting their way is seen as being wrong. Thus in the case of the politician, his opponent is wrong since the opponent is hindering him from getting his will met. If a lie will turn the tides in the election then that is the right thing to do, thus he might lie about the opponent. If cheating gets his will met then that’s the right thing to do, therefore he might cheat. If getting caught cheating opposes him in getting his will met then lying about cheating is the right thing to do.

Because a narcissist esteems their will more than truth then they cannot be trusted to be truthful and honest. That is why you should never trust a narcissist.

How To Spot a Narcissist

A narcissist will have characteristics which can be spotted if they are looked for. Ultimately, what should be looked for is their basis for reasoning. The listed characteristics are natural results that come from applying the My Way Core Standard.

(1) Abusive. Whether it be verbally or physically, a narcissist will have a tendency to at least verbally abuse others by calling them names, making denigrating comments about them, talking down on them, and portraying their self as being superior to them.

Threats of physical abuse are not uncommon ESPECIALLY when they are made outside the heat of a moment. If they are making such threats when tempers had a chance to cool then that’s a big red flag for narcissism. It wouldn’t be unusual for a narcissist to threaten violence “when I get a chance”.

(2) Dishonesty. The narcissist sees right and wrong based on whether or not they are getting their way. If dishonesty gets them their way then that is the right thing to do.

(3) Act erratically when they don’t get their way. A narcissist sees it as being wrong if they don’t get their way. In order for “right” to prevail they might go to irrational extremes in order to get their way. If they are opposed at all turns then they might even break down with weeping and wailing because they didn’t get their way.

(4) Dictator. If a person acts like a dictator then they ARE a narcissist. A dictator demands that their every command be obeyed by others. Any that defies them will have severe consequences unleashed upon them.

(5) Manipulative. A narcissist seeks to get their will met, and using manipulation tactics (guilt trips, threats, “the world will end”, tears, etc) is a tool that they will seek to master in order to accomplish the goal.

(6) Prideful. The narcissist sees their self as being superior to others, and that is pride.

(7) Seeks leadership positions. The narcissist sees their self as being superior to others (which is pride) and that can result in seeking to rule and domineer over others and make everything conform to their will.

(8) Temperamental. Narcissists have anger issues. Any that oppose them risk having that anger unleashed upon them. The anger is an effective tool for getting their way and for punishing those that stand in the way of getting their way. The anger goes hand in hand with abusiveness.

(9) Victim. The narcissist will generally see theirself as the victim thus justifying their behavior. If their will isn’t being met then the one that is doing that is wronging them, thus they see theirself as a victim.

Sometimes they can become a narcissist BECAUSE they were a victim, such as with sexual abuse. The abuse hurt them and they decided that they would put their foot down so that they could not be hurt again. The “putting their foot down” entailed being determined to have their will met in all situations, thus ending any further possibility of abuse. Thus being a victim actually did cause the narcissism to develop.

(10) Sexually immoral. The world revolves around the narcissist and what they want. If they want the pleasure from sex then they innately see it as being right to have it since that is their will. If marriage customs and fidelity stand in the way of having their will met then those are seen as being wrong therefore do not need to be adhered to. A male narcissist will see women, or even men, as sexual objects that are there for their own pleasure.

(11) Distorted definition of love. Love is a compassionate caring for the best interests of another. Those best interests take priority of one’s own. The narcissist, though, sees love as being an acceptance of another that is normally unworthy to be accepted. It is the epitome of conditional love, and as long as the other is meeting the narcissist’s will then the narcissist will “love” them. But as soon as the other opposes the narcissists will, ESPECIALLY if done belligerently and unapologetically, then the “love” is immediately withdrawn and fury is unleashed.

(12) Double Standards. The narcissist will hold a double standard. If you treat them exactly as they treat you then they would find it objectionable and insulting: it’s only ok if they do it to others. Because of this you might also see it where a narcissist is living the high life while the poor and the destitute pay for it. The narcissist will see no problem with that.

(13) Holds a grudge. Narcissists don’t forgive easily. Unforgiveness is normal in lower moral standards. The grudge may lead to revenge later on. Realize, though, that the next higher core standard can also have grudges as an attribute therefore this isn’t a red flag for narcissism but rather an added attribute that is commonly found among narcissists.

Be Aware!

Be aware that a narcissist doesn’t need a basis for their lies! All they need to believe is that the lies will serve in getting their way, even if it is revenge that they seek. The lies can be totally unfounded but if it serves in getting the narcissists way then that’s the right thing to say.

One great error that is made by judges is when it boils down to “he said, she said”. If one is a narcissist and the other seeks to live by the Golden Rule, and the two have directly conflicting testimonies, then the judge will assume that the truth is somewhere inbetween. That judge will be wrong every time! The narcissist will spin a situation into a lie so that they will get their way. The result is that truth was compromised to a lie because the judge thought that it would be somewhere in the middle. That assessment never works well when a narcissist is involved.

As a side note, have you ever heard of the Whitehouse “spin room”? That is narcissism spinning the truth to a lie since they see it as the right thing to do in order to get their way.

The church is not free from narcissists! Joseph Smith’s name and reputation has been soiled by narcissists. Before assuming anything negative about Joseph Smith, first go back to the source and see if a narcissist was involved in making the statements or in changing the records. Do your homework first else you may very well ending up believing lies about him. Like I said, never trust a narcissist to be truthful or honest.